Screwed up..

I binged 3 times yesterday, purged it all out. Today went bad, wrong, hateful and I wished I could dissapear.. Tomorrow i'm fasting and going to the gym, school is ending earlier the day, so I can go to the gym for a couple of hours..

This life hurts so bad, tonight 500 sit-ups and other exercises. I need to buy a jumprope, I'm going to make a to do list.. Theres this guy, which is amazing great, but all we talk about is ''naughty''. But I like him[in a wrong way, very naughty way..], I guess i'll have to find a way to makes this work. If not we may just stay friend or ... But theres this other guy, I see him everyday, I've never talked to him. But he always looks at me and I look at him. Maybe we will never talk, but if theres a chance that I see him alone one day and there aren't so many people around, I'll go up to him and start a talk.

I lost 1 pound, think I gained it all back today =( GOD I COULDN'T FIND ANY COFFEE TODAY! And I had left my money at home.. I loaned some money from friends, but the coffeemachine didn't had any cups left :( I was almost going to take the coffee out of a strangers hand..

TO DO this week:
- Buy a jumprope
- Buy new laxatives
- Talk to him..
- Lose 4 pounds
- Go to the gym for in total 6 hours.

And I'm going to lie to my therapist, so he'll think i'm fine and so my mom will think i'm fine. I'm pretending i'm fine, I stopped cutting that's true. But Mia hasn't left yet and she will not ever leave me alone. Who am I without her?

Love,
Miss Forgetable.